CHANGING MY TUNE...Literally!!!!

Good morning, good afternoon or whatever......

First and foremost OMG....years weeks months days hours seconds since the last time I have written. SOOOOOO many things yet again have happened and has changed. I probably should change the title of this entire blog due to all the changes that have taken place.

Lets start with the biggest change of ALL...my partner whom I started writing about in the first place who later became my best friend who later became my mate later became my fiance'. Great right. Listen when you find that one person you know that you know that you know you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with its nothing more fulfilling than that. Yeah yall happy for me right. At 28 years old I was finally where I needed to be moving in the direction that I wanted to move in. On November 16, 2014 5:31pm that all changed. See that Sunday my best friend and the best thing that has ever happened to me had a massive heart attack right before my eyes.

YES...what you read you just read. Massive heart attack in our living room on the couch in front of me and and his daughter. You can only imagine how his at the time 15 year old daughter felt. I cant even describe to you the emotions I felt but in the face of the most traumatic experience of my life there was this calmness so unfamiliar to me but it knew I had to keep her calm by totally removing her from the situation and then try to keep him as calm as possible as he was dying right in front me and he was scared...man you guys have no idea what these past 11 months have been like. smh

So here I am 10/26/2015 less than 30 days away from the year of his death and I am lost, I feel incomplete and complete at the same time, I feel like I am half way keeping it together most days. Its hard. point. blank. period. I am a different woman now, first being 29 years old then having to rebuild everything I was working toward. Life now feels more like a blank piece of white paper and I am the artist staring at the canvas with no clue what to draw. I just twirl the lead in between my fingers over and over again looking for motivation.

So in this time of transition I have to go back to the drawing board. Yall pray for me because its been a journey that no one unless you've loss someone you were intimate with you wouldn't understand. Well anyway I wrote this really long post at first but the site crashed and it was deleted. I wont even try to begin to rewrite all that I poured my feelings out and it was gone with the click of the mouse...figures.

I will say that I am a work in progress and so far today it has been great to write this. So this is exciting. I maybe should have tried this some time ago. Anyway as November 16th approaches D-Day as I like to refer to it, I plan to document my feelings. I have done a lot of video documents but this is better. Oh but why D-Day you ask? You mean besides it being referring to as the day that the beaches of Normandy were stormed that changed the face of the war? Well that's what November 16th is for me the day my beach of life was stormed and forever changed its course. Im inviting you to be apart of the journey back to me...whoever she is now...maybe we'll find her together. Either way it'll be a ride up down and back around again. Brace yourself because I have a lot of bad days, I have ok days then there are my confusion days....I'll get into that a bit more as time goes on because my lunch break is almost over

- XOXOX

***Well I'll do a post on tomorrow and share more then...thanks for reading. See ya tomorrow***

        **RIP Raheem Alexander Washington, now and then I love you dearly**

Push Through The Sleep!!!

*Hello again my fellow readers and bloggers! I trust that all is well. Im still working my 2 jobs which is literally killing me right now...Im so tired my my head is wobbling back in forth writing this...but im at work and much like any job there is no sleeping on the clock.

*Well I recently had a conversation with Star and I didnt realize how important my drive to continue to work as hard as I was in the beginning was to his drive and how "my slacking" effects him. At first I wont lie I was upset because I was like well I still work hard...just not as hard as I was. Then I was defensive, I work 2 jobs with bad kids and it takes alot outta me excuse me. Then later I started to think.

*If in the beginning you put forth 100% you have to do 175% 6 months later, and so on and so forth. So just because now I have 2 jobs doesnt mean I can rest because im tired because the longer I stray away from Blac Fist the less gets done. The less gets done is another second that the music isnt heard which means thats a dime lost and a fan down.

**Its like my grandmother says about men to my mom "Dont start something you wont keep doing." So in life if you give 100 give more and keep giving more no matter the obstacles. If there are things that take your time away from what you need to be doing that just means when you can do what you need to do you need to do more of it longer which in turn means you work harder...PUSH THROUGH THE SLEEP.

**PUSH THROUGH the I dont feel like it right now or i have to do this or see this person or spend time with that person because I dont know when i will do it again. Business is first. So yes my job is very much important to me but I WILL NEVER make enough money doing what Im doing right now. Therefore, I have to push past fatigue, being irritated, being hot riding up and down the highway with NO AIR CONDITION IN 100 DEGREE WEATHER....oh yes Richmond VA hit that mark this week. But I have to do it for the better meant of the music.

**By himself he will always be a STAR...wink....but whats a star without space. See we always look at the sky and we notice the moon the stars and the sun but we never look at space because its behind the scenes...spaces makes everything else looks better but space, at the same time, its just as important as the stars. So im motivated to be motivated again and more. And when school is out I will especially be on my job...but until then....IM PUSHING...well starting tomorrow cuz i gotta go to bed tonight....hey im human............

Goodnight my babies....EAT OUR MUSIC!!!!

Building Your Brand....not just a career!!!

*Hello again to the very few who actually reads this. I trust all is well. Im ok just another day at this crappy job. Look I know I should be grateful I have 2 jobs and I am BUT GOD can you please BLESS me with a BETTER JOB PLEASE....I HATE this place!!! Thats not why im writing this blog. Me hating my job made me think of "building your brand" in a whole new light.

*Musically speaking we are Building Our Brand, BLAC FIST, daily. Theres always constant promotion, catch phrases, shouting out the cd, etc. etc. But building the brand isnt always the easiest thing. Its time consuming and working 2 jobs now and he working the hours we both need off has had its downsides. Those late hours were once spent brain storming and getting tons of work done. Now...they are spent briefly talking about things that need to get done or just catching up on the day before I go to bed now because I have to get up at 6:30, again just until school lets out and then Ill be back to one job....THE ONE I HATE.......GOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM BACK........Back to the topic....our late night conversations just cover what needs to be done and chances are it may or may not get done the next day. Whereas I couple of months ago I wouldve jumped on it. But the truth is Im tired alot now so my drive has diminished greatly. But I still work hard.

*Some ways we have tried to build our brand is through use of the internet. Blac Fist has a FACEBOOK, a USTREAM (2 ACTUALLY), we're on REVERBNATION, we have videos on YOUTUBE, the cd was created and bundled as a internet package so we have internet distribution through CDBABY and its affiliates such as Rhapsody, Itunes, Napster, and lord knows I forgot how many more. We have Tshirts and we have a website....BY THE WAY...www.blacfist.com is currently down. We are giving the site a new interactive makeover and Rahstar and I are so excited about it. YOU all will love it I know...Dont ask when it will be done...these things take time....stop rushing us and and practice patience...its a virtue.

**Anyway, while concentrating on "building your brand" I started thinking about my brand....ME! AM I building my own brand. Since college what t shirt of promotion have I made for myself to make myself marketable to jobs, in my community, or just as a person, having human to human relationships whether personal or impersonal. I really thought about that. And I wont lie I still am thinking about that. How AM I building my own brand and Am I doing a good job at it. Have I failed at promoting myself to the world or those around me?

**Im not going to say I failed but I think there's work to be done. Im not where I want to be. I know alot of people arent and alot of people blame the economy....NO
SOME THINGS ARENT THE ECONOMYS FAULT SOMETIMES PEOPLE ITS JUST YOU!!! Is it me...I like to think I have alot to do with it. So for my situation to change I need to change my promotional techniques. Such as marketing a brand. If one way doesnt work change it until you find one that does. Look at Coca Cola for example they have so many commercials to reach a vast audience and they run all times of the year. So if you dont like the cheesy radio commercials they have the Christmas commercial with the cartoon santa winking at you before fading to the next commercial. I mean who doesnt like a cartoon santa! BLAC FIST has the same almost. Maybe not as many...but we're working on it. How the public sees us, what they say when they hear our name or even to hear Rahstar on his or anybody else's song or album there is a feeling we want the audience and his fans to convey. And those things need be considered when we think of new ways to expand our audience and build our brand. Those things I also want for myself.

**This business is bigger than a good song or a catchy dance move its about character, building a lasting relationship with your audience and honestly making good music to expand your fan base. Its the same with LIFE. Life is about building good character, building lasting relationships with your friends, family, spouses, creditors, co-workers, and even your enemies and honestly selling yourself to the world by being the best person you can be to expand your fan base by influencing others to also be their best and show integrity in all they do. Thats how you build your brand. Thats what I consider when trying to build MY brand! How about you?

***************BE WELL***************

Every Little Bit Counts....

*Hello and sorry about my absence. I started a second job, dont get excited about it yall cuz its only good for the next 5 weeks and then Ill be back to one job. BUt Ill be lying if i said it doesnt help with all these back bille. LOrd knows I need to catch up on it but anywho...

~*To The "Good News"*~

*The CD is now available for purchase on CDBaby as I believed I shared. If I didnt you just found out...and its okay. I will provide a link to it at the bottom of this post if you want to see it...but more importantly dont just look at it purchase the cd or a song or two....heck all 13...

*I am also excited to announce that as of yesterday afternoon someone brought 2 songs downloads from the cdbaby page. Thats $2 and it hasnt even been a week yet. Rahstar Kariz and myself are very excited its not funny. For real yall shouldve heard us on the phone last night talking about it....You're thinking what in the world its just $2 but its $2 spent by someone we didnt know and EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!!! Stop hating and be excited...if youre not forget it honey cuz we are!!!

*The last couple of days have been a little stressful with the new job but also with getting material together for the presskit which is being formulated right now, then planning for the mixtape and setting up studio time for that and then theres no rest for the weary because we still have to begin planning for the 3rd album. SO MUCH TO DO SO LITTLE TIME. Its crazy my stress level right now and his stress is worse than mine which yall know what that means.....WE SUPA ARGUING....people would think we hated each other as much as we been arguing lately. BUt i guess it comes with the territory of being friends and partners and accomplishing alot separately over the phone than in person. Its hard but it'll pay off in the end I know it.

**More great news a A&R from Atlantic Records has heard the cd and likes what he hears and that is very exciting but we will just be prayerful about that because we all know that can go either way but he seems to be interested. Please pray yall for those who do it...I cant stand when people say they goin pray for you and you know they not. Its not funny. I really hate cuz I really wanna say stop lying you just saying that because it sounds good. The lie sho dont make me feel better either....But that has nothing to do with any of this. But until next time...follow the links below and they will take you to all of our websites or cd purchases.

www.blacfist.com
www.digstation.com
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rahstarkariz

Thanks for the support I love you guys for even reading this...Until next time....EAT OUR MUSIC...BLACFIST DAT NEW CRACK: GET YO MOMMA HOOKED!!!! SMOOCHES...

So much to do so little time...

*So as you all know that anything worth having is worth working hard for. Well there is so much to be done and at times it doesn't seem its enough hours in a day. However we have still done so much. The cd just came out on Wednesday, a day early might i add, and already we have had several online orders and sold many more separately. Go Us! Now on to the next thing.

*We have been meeting or even had conference calls with so many people about either sponsoring on the website to fans way in Germany asking about either booking for shows. Its really exciting and i just thank God for making that Germany connect happen. Its crazy all the YouTube can do and the doors a simple video can open its really amazing.

*Today we had a business meeting about Market America and how to make money from that company work for us in terms of online promotion of the cd to individual revenue for the company. I never would have thought a year ago  today i would be doing this or even meeting the people i have met. What's even good is to know other people in the business have used this company before such as Irv Gotti...hold up didn't he get caught for money laundering....something to think about now that that has come to mind...seriously.

*We were supposed to meet with the producer today but through no fault of ny own that didn't happen. Its cool though that gives us work to do on Monday. I wish gas was ¢10 cuz goodness business cost money but i guess you gotta spend money to make money. So many bills got paid and time spent with BlackFist was productive. It was a good day. One thing to know not everyday will be money in the beginning dont be discouraged if its just the business. You can make money everyday of your life but if your business is terrible because all you think about is money then your product or goods and services will be terrible. Take the time to strengthen your product. That is one thing Rahstar Kariz is learning from me i believe the business is more important than the money.

**Before leaving tonight i want to congratulate all the soon to be alumni of nsu on tomorrow. My loves Cara, Jalisa, Frat., and everyone else i didn't mention. Remember you can visit the website at www.blacfist.com and find the album Letters To Reba online at www.digstation.com. Itunes CDBaby and their affiliated sites also will have them shortly. !EAT OUR MUSIC!

**Special thanks to jaleechereecreations for the cd artwork. So many people have said the album was the best album cover they had seen in years. Any type of flyers or photo shoots or anything dealing with pictures and the computer Jalisa of jaleechereecreations is where to go. Love you girl!

**Im out of here for tonight believe me honey its been a long day....too long...matter fact is it morning yet....until tomorrow because something will happen

***Love Me***

The Beginning...or how much I can remember its been so long. I really shouldve started this a long time ago...wait a min...this isnt the blog!

*So one day Rahstar Kariz, thats my partner I was telling you about, for those who actually read what this blog is about...for those who didnt you dont know what Im talking about but anyway...we were talking about music and life as we so often do. He started telling me how he felt about getting back into music. See for those of you who dont know who Rahstar Kariz is he's a very talented rapper, producer, and i mean all around good guy but anyway I listened to everything he said but then I started thinking. Its so nice to know what exactly you should be doing in your life and what you are good at and it just sucks for someone who seems totally lost in the sauce and your going through everyday like its a routine or a bad home improvement marathon, I hated that show. Its almost depressing. I take that back its the most depressing thing you could ever think of in your life.  (pause)      
 ~BACKGROUND INFO~

*I graduated from Norfolk State University in December 2008. And 2 weeks after coming home I landed a job at radio station. GREAT RIGHT! I was so excited fresh out of college with a job in my field how lucky was I especially in this day in time or so I thought! First day on the job Im dressed with my nice work slacks some heels (yes honey it was like I was going to the office) my dad had bought me a laptop bag although I had no laptop (thought that counts or so i told myself) I used it as a purse that day so it was fine. I get there and im waiting to be called back and as Im sitting there I realized something...."Where is the receptionist" like a crazy person I actually said this out loud....but no really where is she. So I wait and wait and wait and wait "What is this the DMV my goodness" I thought. Then next thing I know i hear footsteps o its time I thought. Shot down the lady comes around the corner and is like may I help you and I politely said (of course I wont use his real name) "Yes Im waiting to see Daniel Phillips" and she says o well let me get him. So "Dan" comes to the front pulls me in the back and says o yeah the stations owners just came and fired everybody but 4 people (he was one of those remaining four...lucky you)....I was CRUSHED DREAMS SHATTERED LIGHTENING BEGAN TO STRIKE AND THE SUN WAS NOWHERE IN SIGHT...at least in my mind. In actuality it was a beautiful day outside but i felt like crap once i left. After that I began working a string of jobs in the Human Services/Mental Health field (presently and to my dismay I am still there. I tell people I am using my strengths in other areas...SIKE)
~PAUSE OVER.~

*The past few years  have been a downward spiral. Not in my field, not making the money I wanted, feeling out of place and settling at home was not in the plans, not happy at all. I felt like Julia Roberts on EAT PRAY LOVE, which i loved by the way and cried on that almost as hard if not harder than i did on THE NOTEBOOK....it was really sad because I was at work at the group home. I had to keep sneaking off in the garage to compose myself and hold back the tears.TRULY SAD! So now since he and I have had that conversation and coupled with my B.S in Mass Communications I am utilizing my talents as i always wanted because yes I am a videographer so soon you all will see some video post,  my customer service skills from the many retail jobs I have had, my people person skills that i possess from birth, THANKS G.O.D, and good ol common sense and hard work. We will be a true success I just know!

* So since the start of the year Rahstar Kariz and myself have started a label by the name of BlacFist Entertainment, a website http://www.blacfist.com/, we have completed his first album Letters To Reba which can be purchased in person by he or myself and also online at http://www.digstation.com/. In the next few days the cd will be available on CDBaby, Itunes, AmazonMP3, and also on http://www.allmusic.com/.

**So this is all exciting I went from being depressed not knowing how to jump start my career, my dreams, my goals hey my life and now im building everything from scratch. Yes it is hard and believe from this day forward you all will be able to read the daily struggles, the stresses, the let downs the wins and the journey to the top. Sorry for the crash course but alot has happened since January so we'll have to just clue you in as we go but we're starting from today Cinco De Mayo 2k11. I will tell you the companies to use if there is any artist reading this because this is about the come up and we all should help each other to reach our dreams. That is one thing he and I have in common we dont want to see anybody who is striving to get ahead get left behind but understand OUR JOURNEY IS NOT YOUR JOURNEY so you will have to find and make your own way as we are. I urge that all of you go to the website read more about us so that you further understand what we are about and you understand what I will be talking about...daily because you will get lost if you do not read. A quote from one of my favorite movies CLASS ACT "READING IS FUN-NA-MEN-TAL" lol. I can and will be silly its my nature so dont look for too much seriousness in this because this is coming from my brain. This is Reality as it happens AS I SEE IT!!

***LOVE ME***